Growing up with kids

 We grow with kids around us ❤️ Discover new strengths and abilities while on the job as mom, dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, babysitters or ayahs. Like making up abnormally impossible wild 'neverending' stories, 'formal' story telling and writing, singing, knitting, baking, and what not!

I became an aunt at age 12. Then again, five more times. I began and gradually became a 'professional' at engaging these bunch of nephews and nieces with stories....long, endless 'serial' stories. Some that were so gripping, they actually continued over my visits home from college hostel. A little rewind of the past episode by the eager kids and I was back on track  to add more  🤔

Then when I became a mother, besides memorizing and singing old hindi movie lullabies, my favorite genre of hindi film music btw, I refreshed my collection with memories of Malayalam lullabies sung by mother and older aunts. My son at age 3 could sing "Chanda Hai Tu, Mera Suraj Hai Tu" and "Hush a by baby" and "Aara Ponne Vandile, Kochu Ousepum Kettiyolum" with equal ease and delight.

I also started getting better with 'speed' story telling, which began and ended with my son eating his meal or drinking milk! He would be zapped at how stories lasted exactly the time he took to eat or drink 🙄 And he knew he'd have to wait for another meal time, or milk time, or bed time for the next story. As he grew older (to differentiate between nonsensical and sensible stories) I would indulge him with nice, proper, stories from aesops fables, or the panchatantra, or makeup super abridged versions from mythology or religious texts, or classics, etc.

This was also the time I started writing stories for children. I had a regular column in a newspapers bi-monthly supplement for children. This was also the time I discovered Calvin and Hobbes. My son was six and so was Calvin. As he grew older, children in my stories also grew. Most of the stories were true to life instances and incidents.

I also brushed up on my knitting and crochet skills to make cute, tiny clothings for the little ones in my life. For my son, around the time when microwave ovens were becoming a household must-have, I too bought one and made a sincere attempt to bake. But that attempt was not succefully accomplished. Let's just say, it was a short lived preoccupation 😣 the batter didn't rise beyond a couple of carrot, banana, and date cakes.....which incidentally tasted good. Trust me 😁

My Deccan College 💝

This beautiful photograph brought back memories of the morning I landed in Pune..... a May morning in 1989. And the city became home for the next 18 years!!! First as a student, then a research fellow, and several life phases followed. Coming from a relatively dry and dusty Baroda, Pune's green and blooming welcome filled my heart with love and positivity. The river on the banks of which the city is based, also flowed next to the college (now University), full and cascading over the bund a little further downstream. Everything about the campus was charming,  it's vastness, the Gothic heritage structures, it's history and  legacy, home and hostel to stalwarts, the people.... everything.

A lot has changed in the past 30 years. This historic capital of the Peshwas, which later became famous as   'bicycle city' , 'pensioners paradise' 'cantonment town' etc is now like any other growing city in the country.  The campus is no longer 'far away' away from the city, and with it came road widening, new bridge, over and under, traffic, loss of trees, the old bund was broken, river was reduced to a trickle most of the year..... every visit is a far cry from the Pune that was. But yet, college campuses are different. They are still charming, unchanging, alive with memories of old and new students, teachers, and staff 💝

Pc Pratik Savale , Gulmohar and history preparing to brave the dark clouds of Cyclone Nisarga tonight.  Pune is far away from the coast, and protected by hills on all sides. But yet....

A Sun Sign for you and me 💝

A Sun sign for you and me 💝

I must have been in my 8th grade when I was introduced to Linda Goodman and her 'study' of Sun Sign based astrology  Her book was a personal assesment 'bible'  among teenagers in my all girls convent school during those days (perhaps it still is!!), and all through high school we'd obsess ourselves figuring out the looks, and characteristics of friends, relatives, celebrities, and whoever,  based on Goodman's  'Sun Signs'. It had become a reference book to the extent that even high school sweethearts were chosen and fixed based on the sun sign they were born under, matched with the compatibility indicators prescribed by her book!!! As for me, it gave me great satisfaction, and pride that Goodman's assessment of souls born under the Libra sun sign was perfect and positive 🤣🤣🤣

Having misplaced my copy of the book long ago, couple of months back I online purchased a copy  just to share the innocent joy of reading this book with my teenage daughter. Needless to say she was equally delighted. She may not make it like the 'reference guide' it was for me during highschool, but yet! Anything for those simple joys of nostalgia 🥰

Later as a young student of Archaeology I got even more interested in the concept of the Zodiac which basically originated in ancient Babylonian astrology and was later influenced by Hellenistic culture and beliefs, and how Horoscopic Astrology became popular and spread across the Mediterranean regions and empires, centuries before CE. It was all too interesting. (Of course, the modern day Newspaper version of 'instant' Sun Sign horoscopic astrology 'predictions' was invented in the 1930's or so!! Interesting story that! But nevermind!!) What mattered was that the ancient Sun sign names, symbols, elements they represent, the associated celestial body details, was all too fascinating, and stayed with me even after becoming a professional Archaeologist digging up mounds for ancient  remains. 

So, some twelve years ago, when I chanced upon this beautiful book of 'Mythical' Cross Stitch patterns at a book store, and was leafing through the pages, I was pleasantly surprised to see a charming Sun Sign design to create. I bought the book, and embarked on the project. This was in another country, which had plenty of amazingly well equipped 'treasure trove' all-under-one-roof store for all kinds of craft needs. I was progressing well with the piece, however slow, at my leisure. 

But soon it was time to pack and move! To yet another country, or back homeland. I chose homeland. And the Zodiac cross stitch project, was stalled, packed, and put away. And sadly forgotten 😞 The cargo took a while to reach us. Besides, I got so busy setting up home and settling down, there was no time for some therapeutic crochet or cross stitch or gardening!! (Honestly speaking, exploring the history and heritage of a new city was and is always top priority, hence all the free time, and household-needs shopping-time doubled up as city exploration time 😅) 

All through the last few years, whenever I pick up my crochet hook, or embroidery needle during long weekends or vacations, the entire set of Zodiac constellations rise up in the horizon of my memory and seem to say 'Not fair! We too deserve to see the light of day!! Spare some time for us!! Make us complete!"

So, finally, after all these years, it took a Covid scare and Lockdown 'stranded at home' time, for that much cherished, piece of cross stitch pattern to resurface, and grab my attention. Will I finish it this time round? I don't know. Like a very good engrossing book, a little part of me doesn't want this pattern also to end 😇

Musings on a Mother's Day 2020

Musings on a Mother's Day.

Long long ago,  soon after my first- born was born, a dear friend came visiting to congratulate me and my partner/husband. He gave me a warm hug, looked at my partner and said with a naughty grin, "Congratulations! for the little you contributed" 😂 He literally meant the few 'seeds' my partner deposited in me!! We all had a hearty laugh😂😂  Our friend knew how busy, and how much my partner travelled in his newly acquired job, and how I was almost always on my own managing home, research, pregnancy, etc.) Well, I've always been the one permanently, physically, available for my two kids ever since! And he is responsible for all the financial security, and comforts in our family life! Children are now grown up, although one is still a teenager. This kind of family partnership has worked for us and although married, we continue to be non interfering friends doing our own thing!!

Jokes apart, do men find it difficult to acknowledge the contribution of their wife / partners in mentoring children into adulthood? We all hear of the ever glorified 'nurturing' and 'laying the foundation' ability of Mothers when children are very young. And how it's a mother's duty to instill 'all things good, and right' in their young ones. But does a women's nurturing ability  'decline' after breastfeeding, potty training, instilling values, manners, food, hand holding during elimentary and middle school? How active is a mother's role in mentoring the child, whether son or daughter into adulthood? Or Even later? Or is it taken over by the father? Or is it again a gender thing? Boys by father, girls by mother? Do single moms find it difficult to groom their little boys into young men without the help of a male mentor?

Or is it a generational think? The younger generation of educated couples are far more enlightened. I would like to think they ensure participation in bringing up children. And demand acknowledgement wherever required. According to areas of expertise they share responsibility. Yet, despite being professionals in whichever field of work, is there a gender bias at home? Many of them are perhaps still entrenched in patriarchal norms of the older generation, with fixed assigned role play for mother and father. The 'wordly wise' achievements of their offsprings due to the father, and the nurtured 'golden heart' due to the mother. That's why you have FB comments like 'like father, like son' 'like mother like daughter' (regardless whether the person knows both the parents or their respective credentials !!) It's understandable when we are commenting on physical appearance or attributes, because it's obvious. But not otherwise. Foundation in childhood and mentoring in teenage matters. If you have capable and willing parents, you are just plain lucky. But at the end of the day, instead of holding parents or parenting responsible, an adult is who takes responsibility of his/her own being, failings and/or achievements 💝

Bobby nostalgia

Hi, I'm Bobby! Mujhse dosti karoge? 

If there is a movie I'm nostalgic about, it has to be Bobby. And it has nothing to do with the movie in itself, but everytime I watch or listen to a scene or song from that movie, I'm flooded with memories of times, the moments of that 1973 in my life. It evokes memories of the smells, the colours, the feelings, everything in that 5yr old me. 

Perhaps it's because the radio at homes and streets, public parks, was abuzz with songs from the movie. And to top it, I'm told I watched the movie at least 5 times that vacation season. I don't recall watching any movie twice in the theatre. But apparently the movie was such a hit, that every relative or friend visiting our Baroda home would wish to see the movie and I was taken along (maybe I didn't need a ticket!!). But the imprint the movie left on me was immense. It has filled my senses like no other.

Of course, I love re-watching, over and over, my all time favourites, on different online streaming platforms now. And I watched 'Mera Naam Joker' the other day, a day before Rishi Kapoor passed away,  just to see a boy-Rishi. I must have been 2yrs old when that was released, but I still have abiding memories of one or two images from that movie. And it is not 'imagined' memory from a repeat watch! 

Strange, how certain frames and images open a flood gate of nostalgia. These moments are so overwhelming, that it hits me like a gentle wave, and I stand motionless with eyes closed, to bask and savour the smell, feeling, colors, everything, till the wave tides over me.....I guess we all experience it? What are we, but memories! Good ones, bad ones !!

PS: I'm movie buff. Would have liked to use the word 'cinefilia' (fancy word, that!!) but can't handle watching and savouring more than one movie a day. Sometimes I take several days to 'enjoy' a good movie. Thank God for 365 days in a year!!!

Btw, the doll was in the making for a few days. She was completed/christened today at 5pm 😎 A happy, cheerful, tribute to the kind of public persona Rishi Kapoor was. RIP 💐💝🙏

2.5.20